an essay, by Armen Saroyan
I was at lunch and happened to sit by myself. Everyone around me was in groups, either laughing and talking loudly, or just sitting silently, but still with each other. I started scrolling through Instagram reels out of boredom and stumbled upon a clip from an old American film (from the 80s). I had no idea what the film was but just watched it because A. I couldn’t scroll because I was eating B. It was a scene in a school cafeteria, with a guy in a black hoodie sitting by himself. I wore a black hoodie as well! Long story short, he was the “weird” kid that no one talked to. Stereotypical representation of introvert or neurodivergent people through a comedic lens. And I started wondering: why did everyone around him think that he was weird? And what’s “weird” anyway? What does it mean to be weird?
So I did some research because A. I procrastinate with my prep, B. I had to understand if I myself am weird and to understand that concept before calling anything or anyone else weird.
According to “Oxford Languages”, weird means:
1. something supernatural; unearthly.
2. very strange; bizarre.
Origin
Old English word ‘destiny’, of Germanic origin. The adjective (late Middle English) originally meant ‘having the power to control destiny’ (remember this, I will get back to it soon) and was used especially in The Weird Sisters, originally referring to the Fates, later the witches in Shakespeare's Macbeth; the latter use gave rise to the sense ‘unearthly’ (early 19th century).
Ok, we know the origin. And the (general) meaning of the word. But let’s understand when is something weird. Under which circumstances?
I use that word every day. Pretty much. When my Skype is glitching and the call is not going through. In that case, once it’s back to “normal”, I say “Sorry, that was weird”. In that case, I use the word “weird” to describe Skype which didn’t act as it used to. Or as it should have. There was an expectation for Skype not to glitch. So, can I say that I claimed Skype to be weird only because it didn’t get the call through? So, it did not conform to my expectations.
Or when someone says that a certain film is weird. What does that mean? Do they mean how it is filmed? Or the subjects? The plot? Did they have different expectations from the film? For instance, if my whole life I had been watching only dramas, jokes in films would be “weird” for me because for many many years (including my mature years) I have only seen melodrama and tears in films.
In the beginning, reading contemporary fiction was indeed weird for me. The mentions of the phones and computers befuddled me. After reading Christie’s Poirot series for my whole life, seeing the word “iPhone”, or even the names of the places that I know, was bizarre for me. I was not used to it. Now I am. So it’s no longer weird.
Thus, I can define “weird” from my perspective: “weirdness” is a concept of unfulfilled expectations, whether they are social, or of any other kind. But it does not mean that if you are not conforming to the “standards” and expectations you are weird. At its core, weirdness is in-between being “normal” (whatever that is) and edgy and cool and not like anyone else (whatever “not being anyone else means”.)
Earlier, if you remember, I put that originally weird meant having the power to control destiny. Does not conforming, to some extent, mean having more power over your life and how you function within its expectations? Does it provide you more freedom than the “conformers” have?
I conform. Because I love it. I happen to fit in. Some people don’t. Does that mean they are more flexible in building their life, taking other bases for them?
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