Guide to growing your Earth [2019 Plastic Edition]


by Sheridan Burns


1. Create your Earth using the starter pack: “elements in space”.


2. Find a suitable place for it with the perfect distance from a heat source (a lamp or star could do) and begin to rotate to set your Earth in orbit.


3. Pour a little water on your Earth to help it cool down.


4. Proceed to stroke your Earth with love and you may see signs of life begin to form – most likely plants, dinosaurs and insects.


5. Watch your little Earth grow day by day as you care for it more and more, bringing up the most perfect life cycles you could think of.


6. After owning and growing your Earth for about 4.45 billion years (to help, imagine this as 4 years) you will start to see the beginning of the rise of the Humans.


7. It should take around 66 million years (now, imagine 3 weeks ish) to catch up with the present [2019].


8. Look at all the great emperors from the past and how the human world has developed. Enjoy seeing all the buildings being built!


9. In the last 300 years (3 seconds), your Earth quickly starts to die, and you may start to experience a lack of willingness to stroke your Earth with love, as it doesn’t look as pretty as it did due to fewer trees and mass plastic in your oceans. This is expected, as it looks gross and not really loveable.


10. Buy the next edition soon!


[WARNINGS]


- While life on your Earth progresses, you may forget to show your appreciation every day and this could cause various bacteria and species to form into deadly diseases – attacking the life you have grown.


- If an object hits your Earth it may cause mass death.


- As your Earth continues to orbit, there may be fluctuations in climate causing mass gain or loss of ice – do not worry unless the pattern becomes irregular as this implies the death of your Earth and means you should buy a new one!