By Adriana Garcia
A couple of Christmases ago I went to my grandpa’s house. This was not Marcelo and Nines’s house. This was my other grandpa which you guys haven’t met yet.
His name is Abel and takes on his name after my father, who is also called Abel. He used to be a tall and slim, he is still tall he has however grown a belly beer. When my brother was younger he used to think my grandpa was pregnant. He upgraded this thought, and came up to the conclusion that my grandpa has swallowed a watermelon.
I am going completely off topic, I should probably tell you what I was going to tell you.
So, here we go...
It was Christmas Eve about 2 to 3 years ago. I remember being in the kitchen with my grandpa, my tita (an affectionate pet name for the word aunt) Lumba (whose actual name is Luz María, but I, and only I, call her Lumba) this name yet again has to be religious, Luz meaning light, but could be referring to an religious aura and María referring to Mary the virgin. Another person in the room was my loving mother. In the background my father Abel and his younger brother Luis Javier were doing the last minute preparations for a perfect meal for the Christmas Eve supper. Tita Lumba is married to Luis Javier known by everyone as Javi, they have a child whose name is Paula, and she was too in this very important conversation which I shall describe in depth. The 3 sons of my dad’s other brother were also in this conversation. These siblings are Hector, the eldest, Iván, the middle kid and Alberto, the younger kid, who is a year older than me.
This long story I’m just about to tell you starts with my grandpa Abel saying to his 5 grandchildren who were in the room at that moment:
“Well I think you should all be more like Adriana” I instantly start paying attention, I had not an idea of what they were saying and was hoping for the worst, as the only thing I had heard was the word Adriana.
“In what sense”
To which my grandpa hugs me sideways, and if I may say so myself, after experiencing his hugs for a grand total of 16 years, he is very strong and quite tactless, and somehow, from just a side hug, he managed to get me completely winded. He looks at me from up above, as he is much taller than I am and responds:
“Your cousin here (that’s me) is single, and you all are in relationships”
After everyone in the room, except my dad and his brother Javi, who are too busy, gives him a confused look he continues:
“You should all be having one night stands, then you could be more experienced and take your pick”
I could not believe that a religious man, especially a catholic one, was encouraging us to sleep around