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I never decided to hear about Villain. He held my throat when I never met him. He kicked me when I never fell down. He never spat on my deceased corpse. He never apologised. He was never humble. How dare he?

You fell head over heels for Villain. You fell for his trick. How could you possibly be so stupid? You love Villain. You Love Villain. You LOVE Villain. What a catastrophe.

I promise when I meet Villain I will be calm. I promise when I meet Villain I will be nice. I promise when I meet Villain I will be civil. I promise when I meet Villain I will not be violent. It will make you happy if Villain and I become friends.

Hello Villain. I scream. Bloodcurdling cries of pure fury inform Villain that he is a repulsive human being who is undeserving of love and happiness and peace and safety and other things as well. Villain turns my stomach. Villain slaps my face one thousand times every millisecond at the speed of light. Villain rubs sand in my eyes whenever I glance at him. Villain induces a primal rage in me that should be evolutionarily impossible. All the hate in the world concentrated in my brain is directly focused at Villain and nothing else. Villain is the worst form of evil encapsulated in a pathetic person.

I have made a fool of myself. You stare at me disappointed. Livid. Villain gives me a smug grin. I want to punch Villain. I can’t. I won’t. You won’t like it. It isn’t worth it.

Eddie Eglington


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